Why Do They Call It The Restroom?

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

I Can Smell Bullshit From A Mile Away But It's So Much Harder To Detect When It's Around You All Day.

You've Gotta Share What's Going On In Your Mind.

Comedy Crowds - We Always Want To Come Out And Ask You, 'how You Feeling?' We Always Say That, 'by A Round Of Applause, How Do You Feel?' Right? 'by A Round Of Applause, How You Feeling?' It's The Only Place In The World That You Judge How You're Feeling By A Round Of Applause... There's Never Like A Car Accident, People All Over The Ground, People Running Over - 'ma'am! Ma'am! By A Round Of Applause, How Do You Feel? By A Round Of Applause - She's Not Clapping!

You Must Accept Responsibility For Your Actions. This Doesn't Include Reactions, Interactions Or Transactions If You're Thinkin' Loophole.