Now You Know Those Trick Candles That

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

I Went Into A Butchers And I Said, 'i'll Have A Pound Of Sausages. 'he Said, 'i'm Very Sorry, Sir, We Only Serve Kilos In Here. 'i Said, 'okay Then I'll Have A Pound Of Kilos.'