Well, My Wife And I Were Married

I Went Into A Butchers And I Said, 'i'll Have A Pound Of Sausages. 'he Said, 'i'm Very Sorry, Sir, We Only Serve Kilos In Here. 'i Said, 'okay Then I'll Have A Pound Of Kilos.'

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.

A Woman Tells Her Doctor, 'i've Got A Bad Back.' The Doctor Says, 'it's Old Age.' The Woman Says, 'i Want A Second Opinion.' The Doctor Says: 'okay - You're Ugly As Well.'