When You're White, The Sky's The Limit.

Gay People Got A Right To Be As Miserable As Everybody Else.

Remember When We Was Young, Everybody Used To Have These Arguments About Who's Better, Michael Jackson Or Prince? Prince Won!

Why Do People Do Yoga? To Clear Their Minds? I Embrace The Clutter In My Head.

My Goals Were Small. My Goal Was To Become A Big Enough Stand-up That I Wouldn't Have To Do Radio. I Could Sell Out A Club, Which Is Like 300 Seats. If I Got Big Enough, I Could Sell Before I Got There, And I Wouldn't Have To Get Up At 6 In The Morning To Do Radio. That Was Pretty Much The Dream. I Had No Idea I'd Be Playing Madison Square Garden Or Anything.

Charlie Brown Is The One Person I Identify With. C.b. Is Such A Loser. He Wasn't Even The Star Of His Own Halloween Special.