I Always Say About My Daughters, They

I Met So Many People After I Got Rich And Famous, And I Learned That You Can't Ultimately Trust People Unless They Were Your Friends When You Were Broke.

Guys Play Characters That Won't Grow Up And Something Catastrophic Happens And They Have To Grow Up To Save The Day - That's Pretty Much What Today's Comedy Is About.

I've Been Married For 10 Years And, You Know, It's Hard, You Spruce It Up And You Go Places. How Do You Spruce Up Anything? Artificially. You Go Places And Do Things.

Are They Real Fires? Or Are People Just Reacting To Something? Just Because There’s An Alarm Going Doesn’t Mean It’s A Fire. And I Think That People Are Confusing The Two. It’s Only A Fire When It Offends The Fans, And The Fans Turn On You. Tosh Has Fans, And They Get The Joke. If You’ve Watched Enough Tracy Morgan, You Let The Worst Thing Go By. When Did Tracy Morgan Become Walter Cronkite? You Have To Mean Something To Me To Offend Me. You Can’t Break Up With Me If We Don’t Date.

If A Kid Calls His Grandma "mommy" And His Mama "pam", He's Going To Jail!