I've Been Married For 10 Years And,

You Got A Gun, You Don't Have To Work Out.

Nobody Ever Says, 'hey Daddy, Thanks For Knockin' Out This Rent.' 'hey Daddy, I Sure Love This Hot Water.' 'hey Daddy, It's Easy To Read With All This Light.' Nobody Give A Fk About Dads!

I Think All The Funny People Were Bullied. When They Talk About Outlawing Bullying, It's Like, What? You Want No Comedy Central?

When You Make Comedy, You Make It For The People And You Try To Have As Many Screenings And As Many Tests And You Do Focus Groups And You Read The Cards And You Try To Give The People What They Want In This Comedy.

The Two Best Things You Can Do For A Person Is Have Sex Or Make Them Laugh.