If You Want To Prevent Abortions, You

Karaoke Isn't Fair When You're A Comedian. The Whole Idea Is To Get People Laughing And Enjoying Themselves, And I'm A Professional Funny Guy.

If You Live Below Your Means, You Can Turn Down Stuff All The Time.

I've Been Away From My Two Daughters At A Very Important Time In Their Life.'i Have Missed Most Of Girl Scout Cookie Season.last Night Zahra, My Youngest Called Me Up And Said :"daddy How Come We Never Sell The Most Cookies? How Come Mrs. Dunn Wins Every Year?"'

Relationships, Easy To Get Into, Hard To Maintain. Why Are They So Hard To Maintain? Because It’s Hard To Keep Up The Lie! ‘cause You Can’t Get Nobody Being You. You Got To Lie To Get Somebody. You Can’t Get Nobody Looking Like You Look, Acting Like You Act, Sounding Like You Sound. When You Meet Somebody For The First Time, You’re Not Meeting Them. You’re Meeting Their Representative!

I Pride Myself On Being The Guy Who Can Do Def Comedy Jam And Charlie Rose. And Do Well On Both.