When Women Are Depressed, They Eat Or

Real Comedy Can't Be Learned; It Comes From A Need For Justice. The Best Who Stand Up, Stand Up For Something.

As A Standup Comedian, I've Worked Almost Every New Year's Eve Of My Adult Life. It's The Best-paying Night Of The Year.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.