Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

Ever Notice That Soup For One Is Eight Aisles Away From Party Mix?

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.

My Brother Is Gay And My Parents Don't Care, As Long As He Marries A Doctor.