When The Sun Comes Up, I Have

I'm Just A Person Trapped Inside A Woman's Body.

You Know You're Getting Fat When You Step On The Dog's Tail And He Dies.

I Am Thankful I Was Born In America, Although If I Gain Any More Weight The Burqa Thing May Start To Seem Like A Good Idea To Me. See? Another Plus About America, You Can Always Find Some Food.

Wouldn't It Be Great If You Could Only Get Aids By Giving Money To Television Preachers?

President Bush Said He Didn't Want To Renew The Assault Weapons Ban Because It Might 'infringe On Hunters' Rights'. Who Needs An Ak-47 Machine Gun To Go Hunting? Let Me Tell You Guys Something... If It Takes You 500 Rounds To Bring Down A Deer, I Don't Want You Going To The Bathroom In My House!