When The Sun Comes Up, I Have

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

While Editors And Newspaper Owners Currently Fret Over Shrinking Readership And Lost Profits, They Do The One Thing That Insures Cutting Their Own Throats; They Keep Reducing Space For The One Feature That Attracts New Young Readers In The First Place; The Comic Strips.

I'm Just A Person Trapped Inside A Woman's Body.

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.

You Know You're Getting Fat When You Step On The Dog's Tail And He Dies.