The Message Of Great Art Is To

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.

As A Standup Comedian, I've Worked Almost Every New Year's Eve Of My Adult Life. It's The Best-paying Night Of The Year.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

I Am Thankful That All The People In The World Who Absolutely, Positively, Know What God Wants, Usually Kill Mostly Each Other.

Why Isn't The Movie Industry Forced To Open Its Shooting Locations To An Organization That Is There To Advocate For Animal Actors? The Industry Isn't Allowed To Pick And Choose Which Movies Using Young Children It Will Or Won't Allow To Be Monitored. The Vulnerable Should Be Protected.