I Don't Categorize Myself. I Don't Think

A Man Who Was Loved By 300 Woman Singled Me Out To Live With Him. Why? I Was The Only One Without A Cat.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

I Am Thankful That Geniuses And Artists And Good People, No Matter How Hard It Is, Will Eventually Be Recognized. I Am Doubly Thankful That Also Goes For Idiots.

I Never Minded Flying Cheap. I Always Said To Myself, 'taking This Flight Saves Enough Money To Rescue Four Dogs, Or Six Cats, Or Will Let Me Make A Difference To The One Woman Saving Chimps In Cameroon.'

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.