For A Single Woman, Preparing For Company

As A Standup Comedian, I've Worked Almost Every New Year's Eve Of My Adult Life. It's The Best-paying Night Of The Year.

I Think About Death. I Don't Want To Die With Clothes In The Cleaners.

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

You Know You Are In Love When You Are Willing To Share Your Cash-machine Number.

Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.