When I Was Little, I Would Burn

You Don't Know Anything About Pain Until You've Seen Your Own Baby Drowned In A Tub... And You Definitely Don't Know Anything About How To Wash A Baby.

My Favorite Sport Is Football. I'm A Die Hard Steelers Fan. Favorite Players Were Hines Ward And Greg Lloyd.

What Do They Call That Hat Jewish Guys Always Wear? A Yankees Cap.

Doctor Just Told Me I Can't Have Kids. I Asked For A Second Opinion. He Said, Why? No One's Gonna To Let You Take Kids From This Hospital.

My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be A Better Person... So I Can Get A Better Girlfriend.