I Want To Get A Tattoo Of

When I Die, I Want To Be Cremated With Everybody.

The Opposite Of Sad Is Down's Syndrome.

I Wish My Family Had Taken More Pictures When I Was Growing Up. Instead Of Always Having To Draw Everything.

Valentine's Day Was Created By The Greeting Card Industry To Get Pussy.

I Like To Play Pranks On My Girlfriend, You Know, Keep Things Fresh For Me, Make Me Laugh, You Know? She Hates It. But Like, The Other Night, I Put Saran Wrap Over The Toilet Seat, You Know, Which Doesn't Sound That Original, But She's Bulimic.