When All Else Fails, Look Cute.

He Who Fills His Pockets With The Rocks Of Misdeeds Shall Surely Sink In The River Of Good Fortune.

It's Amazing What One Can Accomplish When One Doesn't Know What One Can't Do.

My Dream In Life Is To Write The One Gag That Makes Everyone In The World Laugh.

Avoid Fruits And Nuts. You Are What You Eat.

I Thought You Were Dead, Mr. Mccandles.