Well, All's Fair In Love, War And

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.

I Do Not Have A Single White Note On My Piano; My Elephant Smoked Too Much.

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

They Say That Nero Started The Fire Himself Because He Needed A Suitable Backdrop For His Concert.

I Learned To Play The Piano On My Mother's Knee - That Was Before We Got A Piano.