I Learned To Play The Piano On

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.

(responding To A Sneeze From The Audience) Who Exploded?

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

In My Dreams Of Heaven, I Always See The Great Masters Gathered In A Huge Hall In Which They All Reside. Only Mozart Has His Own Suite.

I Learned To Play The Piano On My Mother's Knee - That Was Before We Got A Piano.