Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards.

What's Wan Man's News Is Another Man's Throubles.

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.

Histhry Is A Post-mortem Examination. It Tellsye What A Counthry Died Iv. But I'd Like To Know What It Lived Iv.

If A Man Is Wise, He Gets Rich An' If He Gets Rich, He Gets Foolish, Or His Wife Does. That's What Keeps The Money Movin' Around.

A Rayformer Thinks He Was Ilicted Because He Was A Rayformer, Whin Th Thruth Iv Th Matther Is He Was Ilicted Because No Wan Knew Him.