To The Pessimist The Light At The

I Knew I Was An Unwanted Baby When I Saw That My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

I Like Colonic Irrigation Because Sometimes You Find Old Jewelry.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

If You Don't Go To Broadway, You're A Fool. On Broadway, Off Broadway, Above Broadway, Below Broadway, Go! Don't Tell Me There Isn't Something Wonderful Playing. If I'm Home In New York At Night, I'm Either At A Broadway Or An Off Broadway Show. We're In The Theater Capital Of The World, And If You Don't Get It, You're An Idiot.

Yeah, I Read History. But It Doesn't Make You Nice. Hitler Read History, Too.