Three Weeks Ago One Of My Dreams

Comedy Crowds - We Always Want To Come Out And Ask You, 'how You Feeling?' We Always Say That, 'by A Round Of Applause, How Do You Feel?' Right? 'by A Round Of Applause, How You Feeling?' It's The Only Place In The World That You Judge How You're Feeling By A Round Of Applause... There's Never Like A Car Accident, People All Over The Ground, People Running Over - 'ma'am! Ma'am! By A Round Of Applause, How Do You Feel? By A Round Of Applause - She's Not Clapping!

In School I Was Pretty Quiet. Kinda Shy Until My Junior Year. But At Home I Was A Freak.

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.

You Know What I'd Like To Be Able To Do More Than Anything Else? I'd Love To Be Able To Shoot Spaghetti Out Of My Fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause No One Wants To Be Covered In Spaghetti. No. If I'm On A Date With A Girl And She's Very Rude, I'd Be Like, You Know What? Pppptthhh! Enjoy Your Spaghetti, You're Very Rude. Enjoy Your Spaghetti, Cause You're Rude. Pppptthhh!