Things Are Seldom What They Seem.

I Am The Captain Of The Pinafore ; And A Right Good Captain Too! . . . . And I'm Never, Never Sick At Sea! What, Never? No, Never! What Never? Hardly Ever! He's Hardly Ever Sick At Sea! Then Give Three Cheers, And One Cheer More, For The Hardy Captain Of The Pinafore!

Oh, I Am A Cook And A Captain Bold, And The Mate Of The Nancybrig, And A Bos'sun Tight, And A Midshipmite, And The Crew Of The Captain's Gig!

Is Life A Boon? If So, It Must Befall That Death, Whene'er He Call, Must Call Too Soon.

Man Is Nature's Sole Mistake.

A Popular Speaker, However Unpopular And Insignificant, Has Only To Wind Up His Speech With Half-a-dozen Lines Of Shakespeare (and To Make It Clearly Understood That They Are Shakespeare's) And He Will Sit Down Amid Thunders Of Applause.