I Am The Very Model Of A

Bless Your Heart, They Don't Mind--they're Exceedingly Kind-- They Don't Blame You--as Long As You're Funny!

If Your Master Is Surly, From Getting Up Early (and Tempers Are Short In The Morning), An Inopportune Joke Is Enough To Provoke Him To Give You, At Once, A Month's Warning.

I Often Think It's Comical How Nature Always Does Contrive That Every Boy And Every Gal That's Born Into The World Alive Is Either A Little Liberal Or Else A Little Conservative!

Society Has Quite Forsaken All Her Wicked Courses, Which Empties Our Police Courts, And Abolishes Divorces.

Though I'm Anything But Clever, I Could Talk Like That Forever.