There Hasn't Been An Original Voice In

Envy, Like A False Mirror, Distorts The Symmetry Of The Sweetest Form.

Compared To Politics, I Think Sports Is Funnier, Because It's Inconsequential. And Politics Can Be Real Important And All That. The More Pointless Something Is, The Funnier It Is, You Know? And The More Grave Or Important Things Are... You Know, Some Comedians Can Get This Disease Where They Get Serious All The Time.

[sam] Kinison, When He Started Out, He'd Come To Canada When I Was First Starting, And He'd Always [bomb].

They Say That If You're Afraid Of Homosexuals, It Means That Deep Down Inside You're Actually A Homosexual Yourself. That Worries Me Because I'm Afraid Of Dogs.

Instead Of Loving Your Enemies, Have No Enemies To Love.