The Other Day, I Got A Henna

My Stand-up Is More Like How I Am In Real Life. I Don't Really Do A Character Thing In Stand-up. It's Just A Bunch Of Sentences That Are Supposed To Be Funny.

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When The Bartender Knows Your Name -- And You've Never Been To That Bar Before.

The Whole Thing About Working In Front Of The Camera Is To Make People Laugh When They're Not Supposed To.

I Would Start A Revolution, But I Just Bought A Hammock.

I'm Terrible About People Wanting To Take Pictures With Me. I'm A Giant Baby About It. They Treat You Like A Cartoon. There's Nothing You Can Do Except Make Light Of It.