The Other Day, I Got A Henna

I Don't Like To Have Anybody Tell Me To Be In A Place At Certain Times. That's Kind Of The Advantage Of Stand Up. You're Self-employed.

I Haven't Been Hit Since Leon Spinks Hit Me In '92.

Did You Ever Wake Up With An Erection...and Find Yourself In A Massage Chair At Brookstone? And You Yell To The Sales Clerk "i'll Take It!"

The Problem With These Interviews Is That There's No Sarcastic Font.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.