I Would Start A Revolution, But I

You Know How Some People Have Gay-dar? I Have Fat-dar. I Can Automatically Tell If You're Fat Or Not. And I Also Have Cerebral-palsy-dar.

I Don't Like To Have Anybody Tell Me To Be In A Place At Certain Times. That's Kind Of The Advantage Of Stand Up. You're Self-employed.

I Don't Know What My Assistant Would Do Besides Get Me Pot.

I Kind Of Put Myself Out There As Is. I'm A Quiet Person. I Don't Know If That's Surprising. I'm A Pilates Junkie.

Fat Jokes To Me Are Always, Always Hilarious, As Long As They're Done Towards Yourself.