The 2012 Olympics Is Going To Cost

More People Are Going Out To Comedy Shows Than They Were Before.

Let's Face It, The Gene Pool Needs A Little Chlorine.

Remember To Never Answer A Phone During Sex, Even If You Hilariously Answer With 'i Can't Talk Now, I'm Going Into A Tunnel'.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.