Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love'

Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic But Do Believe In God Is A Bit Like Saying You Don't Have Sex With Dogs, Except Labradors.

Boxers Don't Have Sex Before A Fight. Do You Know Why That Is? They Don't Fancy Each Other.

I Think The Idea That Death Is Not The End, That Your Dog's Just Gone To Live On The Farm, Is Limiting. Thoughts Like That Prevent You From Making The Most Of The Time That You Have.

I Didn't Plan To Be The Rude Middle-class Comedian. You Write A Certain Type Of Joke That You Find Funny, And Mine Happen To Be Often Rude. Yes, It's Juvenile, But That's Me.

Staying In Luxury Hotels Still Gives Me A Kick, Especially Oulton Hall In Yorkshire. I'd Stay In A Hotel For The Breakfast And Room Service.