I'm Not Being Condescending, I'm Too Busy

My Father Always Used To Say, "what Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger," - 'til The Accident.

Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love' With You.

My Mum Told Me The Best Time To Ask My Dad For Anything Was During Sex. Not The Best Advice I'd Ever Been Given. I Burst In Through The Bedroom Door Saying "can I Have A New Bike?". He Was Very Upset. His Secretary Was Surprisingly Nice About It. I Got The Bike.

I Like To Write A Joke Without Any Fat On It.the Shorter The Better. I Cater For People With Add, Basically.

I Was A Christian. I Didn't Want To Have Sex Before Marriage, I Was A Bit Uptight And Not Very Self-confident. I Was A Virgin Until I Was 26.