The Difference Between Two Men Is Usually

Statistics: The Only Science That Enables Different Experts Using The Same Figures To Draw Different Conclusions.

Consistency Is A Jewel, But Too Much Jewelry Is Vulgar.

A Smart Mother Suggests That Her Child Bring An Apple To His Teacher; A Smarter Mother Suggests That He Bring A Couple Of Aspirins.

The Quizzical Expression Of The Monkey At The Zoo Comes From His Wondering Whether He Is His Brother's Keeper, Or His Keeper's Brother.

The Difference Between Us And Other People Is That Their Money Looks Bigger And Their Troubles Smaller.