Straight People Say, 'you Know You're Just

Yes, I Direct Commercials As Well. I Get These Really Weird Offers And Then I Have To Bid On Them And Win The Job. One Offer That I Have Now, And I've Already Done This Last Year For The Same Company, Is For Cash Value Cheese, This Cheese Out In The Midwest. I Did Two Spots For Them Last Year And I'm Going To Probably Do Three This Year. I Also Did Some For The Utah Transit Authority, Which Was Weird And Interesting And They Turned Out Really Funny - They Actually Won An Award.

I Went To Network On A Handful Of Pilots, And Going To Network Is The Most Stressful Situation Anybody Can Ever Be In. You're Supposed To Be On Point, You're Supposed To Be At The Top Of Your Game, The Funniest You Can Be, In About Five Minutes, In Front Of People Wearing Suits Who Really Don't Care, And They've Probably Already Picked Their Person, But They Have To See A Handful Just To Satisfy The Process. It's The Most Horrible, Horrible Process Known To Man. I Wouldn't Want Anybody To Go Through It.

I Guess I'm Odd-looking. I'm Skinny. But I'm Not Only Skinny - I'm Oddly Shaped.

He Very Nearly Stole A Scene In My Movie, And I Didn't Call Him On It Because I Was Just Like, Hey, I Saw Some Stuff On Superdeluxe And How Many Different Films Do You Have On There? And He Goes, This One, This One, Comedy By Numbers And This One And One Called 'bob Pitches A Movie.' And I'm Like, Oh! And Then I Was Thinking He Would Say, Which Is Very Similar To The One To The One I Did In Your Movie, But He Never Did. I Just Let It Go. I Don't Care.

I Never Really Worked With Chris Farley, I Hung Out With Him, But I Had Plans, I Had Big Plans, Movies, And I Was In No Hurry.