Some Golfers Blast Their Ball From Traps,

Shakespeare, Who Never Could Think Up A Plot By Himself, Found This One [macbeth] In Holinshed's Chronicles, Changing It Just Enough So That No One Would Recognize The Source. He Didn't Count On The Resourcefulness Of Modern Scholars, Who Have To Discover Things Like This To Become Associate Professors.

I Miss My Mattress When I Am Gone; It's One Thing I've Made An Impression On.

Good Sportsmanship We Hail, We Sing, It's Always Pleasant When You Spot It. There's Only One Unhappy Thing: You Have To Lose To Prove That You've Got It.

There Are Very Few Humorists Who Have Written First-rate Humor After They've Become Elderly.

Book Burning Is A Charming Old Custom, Hallowed By Antiquity. It Has Been Practiced For Centuries By Fascists, Communists, Atheists, School Children, Rival Authors, And Tired Librarians. Like Everything Of Importance Since The Invention Of The Cloak And The Shroud, Its Origins Are Cloaked In Mystery And Shrouded In Secrecy. Some Scholars Believe That The First Instance Of Book Burning Occurred In The Middle Ages, When A Monk Was Trying To Illuminate A Manuscript. All Agree That Book Burning Was Almost Non-existent During The Period When Books Were Made Of Stone.