A Rumor Is One Thing That Gets

Some Golfers Blast Their Ball From Traps, With One Adroit Explosion, But Others, Out In Ten Perhaps, Depend Upon Erosion.

Book Burning Is A Charming Old Custom, Hallowed By Antiquity. It Has Been Practiced For Centuries By Fascists, Communists, Atheists, School Children, Rival Authors, And Tired Librarians. Like Everything Of Importance Since The Invention Of The Cloak And The Shroud, Its Origins Are Cloaked In Mystery And Shrouded In Secrecy. Some Scholars Believe That The First Instance Of Book Burning Occurred In The Middle Ages, When A Monk Was Trying To Illuminate A Manuscript. All Agree That Book Burning Was Almost Non-existent During The Period When Books Were Made Of Stone.

Good Sportsmanship We Hail, We Sing, It's Always Pleasant When You Spot It. There's Only One Unhappy Thing: You Have To Lose To Prove That You've Got It.

The Bride, White Of Hair, Is Stooped Over Her Cane Her Faltering Footsteps Need Guiding. While Down The Church Aisle, With Wan Toothless Smile, The Groom In A Wheelchair Comes Riding. And Who Is This Elderly Couple You Ask? You'll Find, When You've Closely Explored It, That Here Is That Rare, Most Conservative Pair, Who Waited 'til They Could Afford It.

How I Love To Get A Letter! I Can Think Of Nothing Better Than Perusing An Epistolary Item. But Deep Is My Despondence, For I've Found That Correspondence Means That If You Want To Get 'em, You Must Write 'em!