She Was So Ugly That Her Face

With Girls, I Don't Think Right. I Had A Date With One Girl, She Had Mirrors All Over Her Bedroom. She Told Me To Come Over And Bring A Bottle. I Got Windex.

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

I Can't Get No Respect.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Told My Mother, I'm Gonna Run Away From Home. She Said, On Your Mark.

My Wife Says 90% Of Sex Occurs Between The Ears. But I Need A Girl Who Can Blow More Just My Mind.