Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid Says He

There's A Rumor That President George Bush Had A Nose Job, That He Had Some Kind Of Plastic Surgery, That He Actually Had A Nose Job. If This Is True, That's The First New Job He's Created Since Taking Office.

The 4th Of July Combines The Two Things Americans Love Most In One Day: Alcohol And Explosives.

Newt Gingrich Has Criticized 'new York Elites' Who Ride The Subway. One Of Those Subway Elites Threw Up On My Pants This Morning.

You Probably Heard About The Big Prisoner Swap With Cuba. A Man Who Has Been Incarcerated In Havana For Five Years Is Back Home In The United States. And We Sent Them Some Prisoners. The Deal Still Has To Be Approved By President Obama And Bud Selig.

I'll Be 50 Years Old Tomorrow And That Means, Among Other Things, That Now Bob Dole Can Start Telling Jokes About Me.