Bill Clinton Has A Brand New Book

You Know, We Had The Elections Earlier In The Week, And A Dead Woman, In Pennsylvania, Somehow Was On The Ballot And She Was Elected To City Council. A Dead Woman Actually Elected! And I'm Thinking, Well, I Guess There Is Still Hope For Al Gore.

Bill Clinton Has A Brand New Book Coming Out In A Few Months And The Democrats Are Worried That The Clinton Book Might Upstage The Kerry Campaign. I'm Thinking, Hell, Day-old Meat Loaf Could Upstage That Campaign.

Don't Worry. It's Just A Flesh Wound.

Kim Jong Un Shaved His Eyebrows And Got His Hair Sticking Right Up. How Would You Like The Leader Of Your Country Looking Like Lady Gaga? Even Dennis Rodman Told Him He Looks Weird.

Osama Bin Laden... Lived In One House For, Like, Six Years With Three Wives. And Earlier Today, They Ruled His Death Was A Suicide.