Self-pity Is Better Than None.

I Honestly Believe There Is Absolutely Nothing Like Going To Bed With A Good #book; Or A Friend Who's #read One.

There Isn't Any (afterlife), You Dingbat! This Is It, Baby! Enjoy, Carefully! Religion Is Such A Medieval Idea. Don't Get Me Started. I Have Thought About Every Facet Of Religion And I Can't Buy Any Of It. So God Made Man In His Own Image? It's Just The Other Way Around. Man Made God In His Own Image. It's All About Money.

Mothers-in-law Do Not Make Good House Pets. Once I Had The Most Wonderful Dream -- I Dreamed That Mothers-in-law Cost Money And I Couldn't Afford One.

I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To My Chest. I Wanted Something On It.

No Matter What Time Your Guests Arrive, Pretend They're Early, So Naturally You're Not Ready.