Santa Claus Has The Right Idea -

The Essence Of A General's Job Is To Assist In Developing A Clear Sense Of Purpose . To Keep The Junk From Getting In The Way Of Important Things.

Did You Know That Mozart Had No Arms And No Legs? I've Seen Statues Of Him On People's Pianos.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.

The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The Keys Of His Piano Were So Yellow)

You May Not Be Aware Of This But Leonard Bernstein Won Another Award, For Explaining The Music Of Igor Stravinsky... To Igor Stravinsky!