Rockefeller Made His Money In Oil, Which

My Day-old Son Is Plenty Scrawny, His Mouth Is Wide With Screams, Or Yawny; His Ears Seem Larger Than He's Needing, His Nose Is Flat, His Chin's Receding. His Skin Is Very, Very Red, He Has No Hair Upon His Head, And Yet I'm Proud As Proud Can Be, To Hear You Say He Looks Like Me.

Shakespeare, Who Never Could Think Up A Plot By Himself, Found This One [macbeth] In Holinshed's Chronicles, Changing It Just Enough So That No One Would Recognize The Source. He Didn't Count On The Resourcefulness Of Modern Scholars, Who Have To Discover Things Like This To Become Associate Professors.

The Bride, White Of Hair, Is Stooped Over Her Cane Her Faltering Footsteps Need Guiding. While Down The Church Aisle, With Wan Toothless Smile, The Groom In A Wheelchair Comes Riding. And Who Is This Elderly Couple You Ask? You'll Find, When You've Closely Explored It, That Here Is That Rare, Most Conservative Pair, Who Waited 'til They Could Afford It.

If I Ever Make A Hole In One, A Thrill That I've Never Known, I Won't Be Believed And I'll Have No Fun, For I'm Sure To Be Playing Alone.

Shake And Shake The Catsup Bottle None Will Come And Then A Lot'll.