Our Dog Died From Licking Our Wedding

Right From The Start My Parents Had Left Me To Fend For Myself. Apparently Unaware That I Was A Kid, They Invariably Treated Me Like An Adult, Perhaps Because They Themselves Were No Spring Chickens.

Whatever You May Look Like, Marry A Man Your Own Age - As Your Beauty Fades, So Will His Eyesight.

I Never Made `who's Who,' But I'm Featured In `what's That?'

My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice - They Just Look Like Me.

The Best Contraceptive For Old People Is Nudity.