Oprah Winfrey Is So Powerful That She

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.

My Mother Was A Very Elegant Woman. When A Flying Saucer Landed On The Lawn, She Turned It Over To See If It Was Wedgwood.

A German Sense Of Humor Is An Oxymoron.

I Could Stop And Live Carefully But That's Ridiculous. I Don't Want To Live Carefully.

Before We Make Love, My Husband Takes A Pain Killer.