I Know Every Politician Spins The Truth

You Want To Know The Secret Of My Success? Let Me Tell You About Eugenics.

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.

I'm Not Sure When Or Why The Tabloid Angle On Me Was Decided That I Am A Cad. I Would Have Much Rather It Had Been That I Am Secretly A Dentist Or That I Love Soup.

If I Had A Billion Dollars I Would...oh Wait...already Do.

Honestly, The Only Way Garden State Could Have Been Better Was If I Played Every Character. I'm Awesome.