The Jews Are Just Clumsy Bakers.

I'd Really Like To Give Back To The World, But Everything I've Achieved, I've Earned On My Own, So What's The Point?

Working On 'scrubs' Made Me Feel Guilty Because I Realized That If I Had Decided To Become An Actual Doctor, Instead Of Just Playing One, I Could Probably Have Found A Cure To Cancer Within Five Years.

I'm Not The Kind Of Person Who Digs Through Things Other People Have Thrown Away.

At First, I Didn't Really Care If Global Warming Existed. But Then I Realized It Means That Less Bums Would Freeze To Death In The Winter

Turning Water To Wine? I Mean C'mon, That's Stupid. They Should Have Let Me Write The Bible.