Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

You Might Be A Redneck If The Dog Catcher Calls For A Backup Unit When He Visits Your House.

Hell, When I Was In High School, A "drive-by Shooting" Meant Somebody Had Their Rear End Hanging Out A Car Window!

If You Don't Have Anything Good To Say About Someone, You Must Be Talking About Hillary Clinton.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Give Your Dad A Gallon Of Pepto-bismol For His Birthday.