I Was Talking To Alan Jackson. He

You Find Out That All This Stuff You've Accumulated, You Could Care Less About It. It's Just The Relationships That Matter.

Because Criminals Know That When They See A House With 2 Foot Tall Grass, A Dog On A Chain, And An Engine Hanging From A Tree, A Gun Lives In That House. And If You Want To Know What Kind, Just Break In At 2 In The Morning.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Your License Plate Personalized Because Your Dad Made It In Prison.

If You Don't Have Anything Good To Say About Someone, You Must Be Talking About Hillary Clinton.

Changing A Diaper Is A Lot Like Getting A Present From Your Grandmother - You're Not Sure What You've Got But You're Pretty Sure You're Not Going To Like It.