It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As

You Don't Get Married To Get Sex. Getting Married To Get Sex Is Like Buying A 747 To Get Free Peanuts.

I Actually Had A Chance To Be In Delta Farce, But I Couldn't Do It Because I Read The Script.

Any Job That Posts A Price List For Your Body Parts Is A Bad Job.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your House Doesn't Have Curtains, But Your Truck Does.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stolen Toilet Paper From A Public Restroom.