Nothing Can Help My Comedy.

I'm Known For My Slightly Inappropriate Remarks.

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

I Always Wish The Hotels Were Like They Are In Movies And Tv Shows, Where If You're In Paris, Right Outside Your Window Is The Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, The Pyramids Are Right There. In The Movies, Every Hotel Has A Monument Right Outside Your Window. My Hotel Rooms Overlook The Garbage Dumpster In The Back Alley.

Every Time Something Pops In My Head, I Think Twice About It And I Do It Anyway.

I'd Like To Have A Kid, But I'd Probably Get A Frank Sinatra Jr. Instead Of A Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd Totally Screw Up Like That.