Nothing Can Help My Comedy.

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.

I'm Known For My Slightly Inappropriate Remarks.

Japan Is Really Advanced. They Don't Go To The Beach. The Beach Comes To Them.

I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human Beings. There's Only So Much Political Correctness I Can Accept.

One Pleasant Surprise Was When I Interviewed Butch Patrick. I Was Expecting This Bitter Old Drunk, And Instead He Had A Total Sense Of Humor About His Career And His Drinking And Drug Problem.