You Never Know What People Will Choose

I Wanted To Be A Brain Surgeon, But I Had A Bad Habit Of Dropping Things.

People Have Many Theories About Comedy, But Being Just Plain Funny Is The One Most Important Thing.

The 'phoenix Sun' Did A List Of The Unsexiest Men In The World, And I Made It To Number One. I Beat Out Bin Laden. He's A Terrorist, Hasn't Bathed In Months. I Beat Him Out. To Me It Was A Great Honor.

I Personally Think Miles Davis Is A Lot Funnier Than Me. And He's Working More.

You Never Know What People Will Choose To Be Offended By.