Never Work With Animals Or Children.

Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

I Never Drink Water Because Of The Disgusting Things That Fish Do In It.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.

Reminds Me Of My Safari In Africa. Somebody Forgot The Corkscrew And For Several Days We Had To Live On Nothing But Food And Water.

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull.