Always Carry A Flagon Of Whiskey In

Ye Gads, No! I Couldn't Stand The Noise.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

The Nation Needs To Return To The Colonial Way Of Life, When A Wife Was Judged By The Amount Of Wood She Could Split.

I Have Been Advised By The Best Medical Authority, At My Age, Not To Attempt To Give Up Alcohol.